Saturday, November 29, 2014

He calls me Mama

Eight months ago, we took in the skinniest (and if I dare, ugliest) baby I've ever seen.  He didn't cry...ever...and slept 21 hours a day.  Since then, he's filled out, has adorable chubby cheeks, and a sparkle in his eye.

I've sat up with him at night when he's sick.  Dried his tears when he hurts.  Cuddled him as he eats.  I've looked into his eyes and told him, over and over, that I love him.  He needs to hear it, even if he's only a baby. 

I've stopped going to the free closet for clothing "in case he goes home soon".  Instead, I buy his clothes right along with the other kids' at the same stores.

I celebrate his milestones with phone calls to Grandma (my mom).  I note them in his baby book.  Probably more than his fair share of photos are on my phone.

And he calls me Mama.

People ask if we'll keep him.  Unfortunately, it doesn't really work that way.  He's not mine to keep.

Of course I love him.  How could you care for a baby for 8 months and not fall in love?  Of course I'd love to have him here forever.  But that's not my decision.  I live, I love, I reserve a ever-smaller part of my heart for the day when he'll go home. 

But for now, for the next few months, two babies call me mama.  And I love it.

Our Cade and his "twin", Baby L


  1. You are amazing! He is so lucky to have you to call "mama"